My finals are done!

But somehow as I left each of my classes a feeling came over me that was unusual for the last day of class. I was actually kind of sad. For some reason these teachers and these students mattered more than in past semesters. I don't know what causes some people to be more important to us than others. There must be some connections that are stronger than others. I had learned a lot from these people. Not just the teachers, and not just the particular subjects. I had learned more about life and about myself from being with them. This chapter in my life was harder to close than others had been. But even for that bit of sadness there is still excitement for the chapters that lie ahead. I have learned so much in the past year that I've been back in school; things that really matter in my life and not just in my academics. I have learned that all subjects are related and something about them can be applied in every day use to benefit me and that has been the most important thing of all. I don't have to completely say goodbye to this past semester's experience, part of it will always go with me.

I somehow find you and I collide

It's always interesting to me how the Universe has this way of coming together to give you things you want. They may not even be important things but the fact that you want them makes them important. In a book I was reading there was talk of Personal Legends. Things that we dream of and wanted to accomplish but many of us lose that dream through doubt and trying to think realistically. But, the book said, when someone realizes their personal legend and tries to achieve it everything in the Universe works together to help that person achieve their Personal Legend.

I don't know that I have anything amazing or noble as my Personal Legend but I do know I've had experiences where I have wanted things (even trivial things) and they have been given to me. Just to let me know that somebody up there loves me and wants to remind me of that.

It was a year or two after high school and one of my best friends was down at BYU. I had gone out on a Friday night with some friends but hadn't had a very good time and was really missing this friend. I was feeling sorry for myself when I got home and wished this friend were around and then went to bed. The next morning I awoke to the phone ringing. It was this friend! He had tickets to something going on at BYU that night and wanted me to come down and go with him. I knew that something that was important to me was important to my Heavenly Father just because it was important to me and He loves me.

I've had several other experiences like that but they're not coming to mind right now. But yesterday, all of the sudden I had a craving for fruit pizza. You know, the pizza where the crust is made of a giant sugar cookie and then you spread whipped cream or cream cheese (maybe it's a mix of the two) on top of that and then put cut up pieces of fruit on top. It was totally random. I thought maybe I'd make one for my brother's birthday this weekend or something. Well, yesterday afternoon I went to visit a friend and she had made a fruit pizza for us! It was weird. It was simple. It really wasn't any big deal but it reminded me of the hand of God. He can do anything he wants, and he uses that power to make us happy. I've heard it said that there's no such thing as a coincide, it's just God's way of staying anonymous. I think I believe that.

Linkage

There has been a lot of hubbub about linking blogs lately. I had thought about linking all those great blogs that I read so other people could read them too. And several of you have me linked and I wanted to return the favor. But in lieu of Trillian's comment on MotiveMayhem I've decided I agree with her view and I'm not going to link anybody to my blog. That doesn't mean I don't love you all and that I won't be visiting your blogs still, I just don't want to hurt anyone's feelings if they get left off my blogroll or whatever else may happen. Bronson, thanks for your help trying to set things up the other night. At least you got brownies and ice cream out of it! You're still my blogdaddy:) And thanks to everyone else who visits my site and leaves comments, or just reads the words I have to write!

s,dlfnas,d.fnmasd

I haven't felt much like blogging lately.

I haven't felt like doing much of anything besides wrap up in a blanket with a good book and a cup of hot chocolate lately. I actually did that for a little while yesterday. I had gone for a walk along the parkway and it started to rain. So cold, wet, and tired I came into the house, put my beautiful tea kettle on it's electric base to heat up, pour the hot chocolate and wrapped up in my favorite fleece blanket on the couch. After drinking my hot chocolate I let the pattering of the rain on the tin roof of the carports lull me to sleep for awhile.

Then I had to brave the rain again to go downtown for the premier of The Interpreter. As much as I didn't like to break from my cocoon on the couch the movie was well worth it. Especially since we got in for free! But I would have even paid to see it.

But today I wish I were back on the couch with a mug of hot chocolate and a good book. I finished the Alchemist and it was very very good. If you're interested in a short, easy, yet amazingly profound read this is the book for you. I'm looking forward to the few short weeks until school is out and I have time to read something other than textbooks. If only for a week or two until summer semester starts. I think my next pick will be The Traveler's Gift.

Even though I haven't felt much like doing anything or being very social I did get back in touch with my two best friends and that's been great. Aphrodite works for a tax accounting firm and she's been swamped for the last few months so I really haven't had so much as a short "Hi, I'm surviving...barely" email from her since February until this past Monday. She stopped by on her way home from work and we caught up on all the things that have been happening and that's been really nice. With friends like that you just pick up where you left off and it's like no time has passed since the last time.

Big Red has been in Samoa with her husband for the last few months. He got a construction job there and I haven't talked to her since my wedding. I finally got her email address from her sister and wrote to her and heard back today! She had her baby while she was there and she sounds really good. They have been loving it there but can't wait to get home. It'll be nice to see them (and the baby!) whenever he finishes up and they can come home. Again, we just picked up where we left off and got caught up on eachothers' lives. There were no accusations as to who should have gotten in touch first or anything. Just understanding that life is busy and nice to hear from yous. It's great to have friends like that, who don't disturb your desire to lay on the couch with a blanket and hot chocolate, but decide to join you in it.

True Confessions

Once upon a time a guy had a knife pulled on him because of me.

I was reading someone's blog and they were talking about bad taste in men and it reminded me of this experience. So I thought I'd share. Not that I've ever had bad taste in men, but sometimes bad men have good taste in me.

It was a few years ago when I was living in Cleveland. I had known G.I. Joe liked me for quite awhile. He thought it was a secret but he wasn't very good at keeping his feelings from showing. Me, not interested. But he was still in the group that I associated with from the office so I was around him quite a bit.

Unfortunately.

A group of us had gone to play pool. Bailey and I were the only girls in the whole place. Maybe it was the atmosphere, maybe it was because I have a little streak of mischief in me, whatever the reason Bailey and I started telling Thurston he was our favorite male co-worker (well, he was, but we made it into a really big deal). We joked and flirted and everybody was getting a kick out of it. Everybody but G. I. Joe.

Well, a few other things occured that week to make it blatantly clear to everybody that G. I. Joe liked me. At this point I still didn't know about the knife. I did hear about him almost coming to blows with a couple other guys he thought I might be involved with. And his work performance became less than stellar. Guess who was the one voted to talk to him about it?

You guessed it.

Me.

They figured I was the only one who could get through to the thick headed jerk. That didn't go over so well. G. I. Joe and I had it out right there in the conference room. He was acting like the biggest baby I have ever met in my life. He got all sulky and wouldn't talk to me or anybody else for the rest of the day.

That night I was talking to Thurston on the phone about the situation.

T: What's with G. I. Joe anyways?
B: You mean, besides the fact that he's in love with me? (semi-joking tone)
T: Ah, I thought that must be the case.

And then he proceeded to tell me that after we all left the pool hall and Bailey and I had gone home G. I. Joe pulled a knife out of his pocket and held the blade against Thurston's throat and said, "From now on, I'm the ladies' favorite." Thurston was a little taken aback by this but still answered with, "I think the ladies can decide for themselves." G. I. Joe dug the blade deeper into Thurston's throat (without actually drawing any blood) and said, "You don't understand, from now on I'M the ladies' favorite." Thurston realized what a nut he was working with and decided it would be better just to back off. I had no idea G. I. Joe would go to that kind of extreme. I talked to my boss and quickly switched offices.

I saw Thurston a few weeks ago. He moved back to Utah about 6 months after I did and we've kept in touch. We talked about that experience and wondered what happened to G. I. Joe. Hopefully he's not pulling knives on any other "favorites."

At the End of the Rainbow

Married life is pretty great. It has its ups and downs but for the most part it's a nice thing. Being out on your own (the two of you together) and being really poor kind of suck, however. So, I've been trying to compile a list of things that make being poor not so bad. (I promise I didn't steal the list thing from Bronson.)

Winning movie/sports event tickets off the radio (true story. I did it last Friday. We get to see the Interpreter)
Random gift cards for Cafe Rio from work for a job well done. Mmmm....
The library. Free rentals on movies, books and CDs (unless you forget to bring the media item back with the case - then there's a fine)
Clipping coupons (sometimes there are coupons for FREE stuff! Happy Day!)
Happy Hours at Sonic. (Half-priced cherry limeades between the hours of 2-5 pm. Yum!)
Lunchtime at Sam's Club and Costco (lots of free samples. who needs real lunch?)
Warm weather to do free things outside - hiking, frisbee, walks on the parkway
Free bus/TRAX pass from school that you can use to get around since gas prices are so high!

Ok, that's about what I've come up with so far, but it definitely makes being poor a little more bearable:) If anybody has any other suggestions I might not have thought of, feel free to add to my list in the comments!

Mother I love you, Mother I do...

Mom's are great. I know sometimes we don't appreciate them like we should but they really do have our best interest at heart and do anything they can to help us. Like:

When we stop by they make us fresh juice to help us get over our colds (so maybe she just really likes using her new juicer)

They tell us to keep the movie we borrowed because they know we really liked it and already went out and bought themselves a new copy

They buy us stamps so we can send out thank you cards for our wedding that we should have sent out months ago but haven't because we couldn't afford stamps

They do our laundry when we end up having to work on laundry day

My mom is great. And for all the times she drives me crazy I'd still be lucky to be anything like her when I'm a mom. Thanks mom!

It was early Sunday evening. They had finally made the time to go. As they trudged up the long, steep walk they realized it looked just like in the movies. They walked in and went to the desk.

"Walter Johnson."
"Are you family?" asked the guard.
"yes," they replied.
"I'll need to see some I.D."

They handed over their identification, the guard logged it into the computer and handed it back.
"You can go sit over there and when it's time for your visit we'll call you up."

The couple sat in silence, unsure of what to say in these circumstances. They'd never been here before and weren't quite sure what was expected. But Walter had been here for nearly 3 months and they knew it had been too long since they had seen him.

Just then a guard called for the evening visit. People filed through the metal detector and into a large room to await instructions. They were told how to get to the appointed rooms and what was expected of them during their time here. Many of the people seemed to be veterans of the system but for the couple this was a new experience. They had been to see Walter in small jails before, but never a maximum security prison.

After walking down several long, bare hallways the couple finally saw Walter. He was seated behind glass, again, just like in the movies. He seemed a little surprised to see them, but also very happy and the couple was glad they had taken the time to visit. The time in prison had changed Walter. He was very thin, his hair long and stringy, his clothing ill fitting. He looked much older than his 25 years. But it wasn't just his appearance that had changed. As they talked he spoke of missing the family, the mistakes he had made, the desire to change so he would never have to return to this place. They had heard that many times before as he had gone in and out of the smaller jails. The judge had become tired of seeing him in his court so often and had sentenced him to a year in this maximum security prison, hoping it would help him see the error of his way. The judge seemed to have been right.

"Guys leave here, but a lot of them seem to come back over and over. I don't want to be like that. Doing my time in this place will clear my record. I'll be free from parole and I won't have to stay in this state. I can leave and start over. I'm thinking about becoming a motivational speaker or a counselor for youth. I want to help them see that it's not worth it. They don't want to become like me and end up here."

He spoke of his study of the scriptures and church and the classes he was taking in the prison. He was working in the kitchen and that helped the time go by more quickly and also shaved time off his sentence. He wanted to get out and see his family. He would miss the family reunion and he seemed for the first time to realize how much he was missing out on and what it really meant to him.

At that moment the bell rang, signalling the end of the visit. The couple left with promises to return. And they would return. In the midst of this dark and dreary place Walter had been able to find peace and hope, something he had never had before, and they wanted to do everything they could to keep that light in his eyes. And once he was free, they would do everything possible to make sure he didn't return to this place.

About a week ago I was driving along in my car, enjoying the tunes on the radio. I got to my apartment complex and got out of the car to check the mail. When I got back in the car my radio wouldn't work. I pushed every button and turned every dial but to no end. Not only was the radio not working but neither was the clock on the radio. I told Hubby when he got home and he figured maybe it was a loose wire or something. I had planned to call the dealership to see what they suggested but my week got really really busy and I just didn't have the time. My warranty had just run out and didn't have the money to fix it if they had to take the whole stereo out of the car to fix it anyway.

Yesterday (a week since the radio episode), I got in my car to go to class and put the key in the ignition, turned it, and... nothing. Just a little wheeze from the engine. I was sitting there silently freaking out, not knowing what to do, I know pretty much nothing about cars but it sounded like it could have been the battery, when I realized the radio was working. What the...? My car wouldn't start but hey, at least the radio was working again. That's progress for you.

I called my mom since Hubby was at work and I was on my way over to her house to start my laundry (I LOVE living in an apartment with no laundry hook-ups) and she came and picked me up. After class we called AAA (not Alcoholics Anonymous, see, there's an extra A) and they came to see if they could start my car or tow it if necessary. Nice AAA guys. Sure enough, it was the battery. Maybe I know more about cars than I thought I did. Not that that makes it any cheaper to fix. They checked the charge on the battery... nothing. This battery was as dead as they come. Fortunately the nice AAA man was able to call someone and an hour and $100 later (with 5 year warranty!) I had a brand new battery (you can tell, it's the cleanest thing under the hood) and both car and radio were in perfect working order.

At least I didn't have to have the stereo ripped from the interior of my car.