A Special Valentine's Day Edition

Before I was married I never could figure out how people could be insecure about their marriages. I mean, the commitment has been made. You said your “I Do’s” in front of hundreds of people and if you had no intention of keeping those promises they shouldn’t have been made so how can you be insecure? It’s a sure thing. Ok, so it’s not always a sure thing but I knew when I got married it would be a sure thing or I wasn’t getting married. I wasn’t going to be insecure like all those other silly people. The thing I came to realize is that no matter how confident you are in yourself, it’s really hard to put all your trust in another person. It’s really hard not to be insecure even when there’s no cause for it because this thing, marriage, is really important. I knew there would be disagreements sometimes but you don’t realize how scary they can get and how mean you can be to each other – this person that you’re supposed to love and cherish forever – which can definitely lead to insecurities about your relationship and if it really can last.

And another thing I’ve come to realize is that stubbornness and pride (two things I’m really good at) have no business in a marriage. In fact, I’m pretty sure they are really the leading causes for divorce. Because after those fights, which are generally about the most ridiculous things but for some reason become a matter of life and death, someone has to swallow their pride and be the first to apologize. And you may think you’re right and shouldn’t have to apologize. But so what? What does it really matter if you’re right and the other person is wrong? What do you really gain?

I was watching Grey’s Anatomy a few weeks ago and Christina and Burke had had a huge fight and neither one would speak to the other for several episodes because they were waiting for the other to be the first to speak and apologize. Each thought they were right and the other person was wrong. They are two of the most competitive and stubborn characters I have ever seen. But I loved what Christina said to break the silence. She said, “I was right. I swear, I really believe what I did was right. I -- I don't want you to forgive me. Frankly, I'd find it patronizing if you did because while I know I was right, you think I'm wrong, which doesn't matter because I'm in this. I'm in this for the long haul, and I'm in this to finish the race. So if that means I don't win this one, then fine, I don't win. You win. I'm talking. See? I'm talking first. You win.”

Sometimes there may be one person who is right and who is wrong. Sometimes maybe nobody is wrong, you just have different ways of doing things, or solving problems. But marriage should be for the long haul. Not just until one or both people want out. And the only way I’ve found to ensure this is to swallow your pride and insecurities and just apologize. Someone has to be the first, why not let it be you. Even if it has to be you every time.

I don’t know why I felt the need to write this. Maybe it will help someone who is struggling with their own insecurities and pride. I hope so.

Happy Valentine’s Day, everybody!

It's Been Awhile

I no longer have access to Blogger at work. Since that is when I typed most of my posts and read everybody else's latest entries, it's been difficult to find time to update and be updated. You may have noticed I've been AWOL for nearly a month. Or maybe you haven't. A lot has been going on this past month. Baby J is getting his first two teeth and that hasn't been the most fun experience. He's doing a lot better than most other babies I've seen teething but he's been running a fever and gets cranky more than usual (which really isn't very much).

I cut my hair last week. It's really REALLY short. Shorter than I was expecting to go. But she just kept chopping away. It took me a few days to get used to - which really isn't me. I can usually figure out how to wear just about any style right away. I'm liking it more now. And it really is a lot easier to do than my last hairstyle.

Speaking of cutting, I tried to cut my finger off this week. Well, not really. I was chopping onions with a Cutco knife and for any of you who know Cutco knives, they are extremely sharp. The onion slipped from under the knife and the knife slipped into my finger and sliced my fingernail in half horizontally. It was bleeding profusely and I had to work through my hysterics at all the blood gushing from my finger and remember what to do for a situation like that. I got the bleeding stopped but it definitely isn't pretty. I'm pretty sure I don't need stitches but I'm pretty sure my finger is going to hurt until the nail grows out past where it was cut. At least it made a clean cut!

We got our tax return. Thankfully we got a return instead of having to pay like we did last year. So, we paid off most of our debt and decided to get in more debt by buying a washer and dryer! It's not the nicest set but it's brand new and it's all mine:) It should be delivered on Tuesday and I'm so excited not to have to haul laundry and the baby to my mom's house anymore, although it was nice to have other adults around to talk to. I guess that's about it for now. Hopefully I can figure out how to get on here more often and see how y'all are doing too!