Ave Maria

I once knew a woman we referred to as "Large Marge." At 6'5" and probably 250 or so pounds she actually looked more like a man than a woman. And she had a weird infatuation with Barry Manilow. Why anybody would have a thing for Barry Manilow I'll never know. He kind of looks like a mouse. And his music's not all that great - although Aphrodite and I used to sing "Oh Mandy" but change the words to "Oh Andy" but that's a story for another time.

Large Marge used to travel all over the country to hear Barry Manilow perform. She would talk about him incessantly and as the music director at church always tried to come up with ways to incorporate his music into the church service. I happened to attend the same church as Large Marge the Christmas she actually had her way. We were in one of the sunday services when Large Marge got up with her CD player and started going on and on about Barry Manilow and what an amazing musician he is and all this stuff. She then talked about how wonderful his rendition of Ave Maria was (I thought they only sang that in Catholic churches. We're not Catholic) and something about a Celesta (pronounced CHelesta - it's kind of like a little piano or something). And then she proceeded to play Barry Manilow's wonderful version of Ave Maria.

I cannot hear Ave Maria to this day without thinking of Large Marge and Barry Manilow. Ugh. That's enough to give me nightmares for Christmas. Maybe I should start envisioning sugarplums instead...

I hope everybody has a Happy Holiday!